今晚的我，迷失的我，矛盾的我，失望的我

过去的两个星期，这个时候的我，一定是昏睡在我温暖的床上。可是今晚的我却出奇的精神。

不是因为要温习功课，而是纯粹睡不着。是真的纯粹睡不着，还是心有所烦？

希望，到底是什么呢?

希望，是不是当你有某种欲望或念头要做某些事的时候？

失望，又是什么呢？

失望，是不是当你已经不再存有希望的时候？

绝望，应该是当你失望到某个程度，从此不再有希望了吧？

还是“希望”从来都不曾有过？

当你心情不好时，就算平时觉得再怎么悦耳的音乐，顿时都会觉得很不顺耳。你会觉得在好几百首歌里，竟然找不到一首歌是适合你现在的心情。

我想今晚的我，迷失了自己，活在自我矛盾的世界里，不能抽身。

人如果可以潇洒一点，干脆一点，果断一点，烦恼可能会少一点。

说到底，人如果可以自私一点，狠心一点，任性一点，也许会好过很多。

我，如果也可以自私一点，狠心一点，任性一点，那么我想我会快乐一点。

希望明天的我会开心一点。。。

A Letter to Rachel Wong

Dear Rachel Wong,

I wonder what had happened to you this semester? You have been sleeping like a bloody dead pig since the first day of your study leave. People studied like hell during the week and you slept like a real pig for the whole week.

AV Copy Writing - you screwed up.

Comm Theories - you also screwed up and you know you did very bad. Real bad.

Where is the old you? Where is the Rachel who put studies at the first place? Where has your power gone this time? Why are you so lazy this time? Why? Why? Why?

Things are going to look ugly when the result is released later. You better stop all these and start working your ass off for the remaining papers. No joke, honey. Stop being lazy and stop sleeping like a real pig!!!



Felt very bad after the Comm Theories just now. did very bad for the paper. really really bad. real bad. had been studying for this subject. had some sort of confidence for this paper as both the journals were my assignment topics until i read the questions. time management was sucks. writing was sucks and the most important thing was my brain was not functioning well at that critical two hours. my bloody brain. malfunctioned at the wrong time. shit. i do not dare to imagine which grade will I get for this paper. I do not dare to imagine. for the heaven sake. really hope that I did not screw up that much. Maybe a B for the paper? I would be more than happy for that.

Had meal at Sushi King with ShiaoPing, KahYee and ChinHoong after the exam. To pamper myself and to make me feel good again. That's the thing I always do when I feel bad. We could only go to Sushi King as that's the best we have here. Imagine if we are at KL. My god! The bills will sure shock you and your eyes will be wide opened when looking at those bills. Went for a hair wash too after the meal. 4 of us too. Think the hair wash was a good one. At least it released all the stress, al the tension and all the sadness that I had at that time.

Now, Rachel Wong is recharged and good to go again!! I am Rachel Wong. Nothing is going to stop me or block my way that easy. Yes, I did dig a big big garve for me and I did bury myself in the big big grave in that 2 hours. But it just means that the old me, at least the lazy me is dead and gone. I am reborn now. The Rachel Wong that you used to see is back. 3 more papers to go only. No worries. I can do it!! For sure!!

I am going to sleep now. After those eating and hair washing, what I need the most now is SLEEPING. Good night to eveyone who also did not have enough sleep yesterday night.

Honey, everything was fine until that message.

me and my sis - Hanessa

Me and my dear roommate aka my sis aka Hanessa went to Ipoh yesterday because I got to go to see my dentist to fix my braces. Thought it would take some time but ended up I went into the consultation room for less than 1 minute and I came out. Sweat.

As we had nothing else to do and as I always want to bring her to the Ipoh most famous dimsum - Fu San Dimsum, so we decided to look for the shop. The new Fu San dimsun is actually not really far from the clinic. I had only been there for twice. So kind of not really remember how to get there. But I think I am a genius after all. Because we did not sesat at all.

We did took some pictures during the meal but they are all in Hanessa's mobile phone. That young lady has posted them in her blog without giving me a copy of those pictures. And she posted a picture of me which I think I do not look good in that picture. Think I need a serious talk with her later in order to remove the picture from her blog. Hahaha. Just kidding.

P.S: The dentist said my teeth look better now. The braces start working already. That is a really good news to me!

快乐的时光总是过得特别快

从上个星期，我就开始等待今天的到来。

总觉得每一次的相聚都很快。和喜欢的人在一起，你会发现时间过得特别快。至少我是这么认为。

多么希望他可以多停留一会儿可是因为还有公事要忙，所以就算再多的不愿意，也要让他走。

他才走了五分钟，可是我已经开始想念他了。这个男生真的让我又爱又恨！

因为有他，还有家人的支持和鼓励，我才能熬过这段考试的日子。人因为有“爱”而活得更精彩。至少双鱼座的我是这么的认为。

爱情就是要互相信任。只要有“信任”和“爱”，不管怎样都不会是问题。

每个人对爱的付出方式都不一样。你们也许不会了解我们的爱。可是我和他都清楚知道这是我们所要的。我们对于现在的我们很满意和很开心。爱情，本来就只是两个人的事。

现在的我想起了。

这个傻傻的男生不知道巧克力是牙套的敌人，竟然买了一堆巧克力给我（因为他知道我超爱巧克力）。我该开心还是生气呢？

8th and 9th September

8th September 2009 is the day that I will remember for the rest of my life. It is the first day that I got my BRACES. Yes, everyone. Rachel Wong has got her braces on this very fine day. Go spread the news and tell the world!! I never had thought that I would have to wear braces in my life. My teeth used to be very well aligned until those wisdom teeth came out. They ruined everything. Now I got to wear braces for about 2 years. Thanks to those useless yet troublesome wisdom teeth!! In order to wear the braces, I have extracted 3 teeth. I really felt sorry every time I went to the clinic and saw the dentist extracted them from my mouth. They were very innocent. It was not their fault to cause my teeth to be misaligned but I got to sacrifice them for the sake of a nice looking smile in the future. Semua wisom teeth punya pasal lah. When I saw them lying deadly on the tray, I really felt bad and felt sorry to them. I am sorry I got to sacrifice three of you. I wanted to keep three of them but I was too shy to ask from the dentist. After I have extracted them one by one, I started to realize that every tooth in our mouth is very important. I was having problem to chew and bite in the first few days after I had extracted them. When we have everyone of them in our mouth, we would not have realized the important role that they are playing when we eat and chew. Now, I can not eat and chew food that is hard, chewy and so much more. But that is the price to pay to have a good looking smile in the future. Many people may think that I am crazy because my teeth are not that badly misaligned after all. But for me, it is a problem because I used to have fine and well-aligned teeth and now I do not have anymore. That is really annoying me. That's why after some serious considerations and thinking, I decided to wear braces. And this braces costs me about RM5.K. For the goodness sake.



The first color for my braces is BLUE. This is as per requested by NATALIE. This young lady is going to have her braces removed this Saturday (12th of Sept). She said she wants to take photos of us wearing braces. MY GOD. And kind people like me sure will not say NO to her. I agreed to have the same color for the rubber and we took some pictures after the AV Copy Writing paper just now. If I look good in those pictures then I would not mind to share here but if I look ugly then there is no way I will publish them.


9th Sept 2009. A day where everyone said it was so special. 090909. Yes, it was a very special date to everyone. Once in a life time we could get a date like this. Some couples might have registered for marriage. Some might have posted a post on their blog at 09.09am on 09.09.09. For me, it was just another sleeping day, another nothing but ordinary day until I received HIS message. This not-so-romantic-man who I have been in love with told me something special on this fine day. Things that I like to hear and always want to hear from him. Of course, I am not going to tell you what he had told me. It will be in my heart. hahaa.. Shiao Ping told me that one of the lecturers of her roommate register with his loved one on that day. Then I asked Shiao Ping, why on earth He has not asked me to go register ah? Or why on earth he has not proposed to me yet ah? haha.. I must have lost my mind when I said that. We are just not ready for that yet. Now I wonder, what if he asks? Then what kind of answer that I am going to give him? Yes or No? Let me think bout it tonight.

LOVE is the best thing I ever had in my life so far!!! I am glad that I have HIM now!!!

Study week = SLEEPING week

What people will normally do in their study week? study like dog , study like cow, right?

And let me tell you what this genius has been doing for the whole week - SLEEP, SLEEP and SLEEP!!! non-stop SLEEPING. Have been SLEEPING all the time.

I have been sleeping since the 5th of Sept night - right after we settled for the Hawaiian Style Garden Party. Disaster started after that. This very genius Ms Rachel Wong has been sleeping for the whole week. Day and night - non stop. I sleep and I wake up and then I eat and I sleep again. Like a bloody dead pig ah!!!



If I don't sleep then the only thing that I will do is Facebooking! My god!! This thing is really killing me ah!! Think not just me but most of the people who has a Facebook account. I am hopeless!!! Really really HOPELESS now!! And whenever I wanted to study, I started to feel sleepy and tired even I just woke up from my long-hour sleep. I am really hopeless!!!

I had my very first paper just now - Advertising Copy Writing. I seriously think that I screwed up. This not-creative human being had no idea what to write on the answer booklet. Ended up she started to crap. Crapped whatever she could in that 2.5 hours. Now she started to pray to God and hope that she did not do that bad for the paper.

RACHEL WONG - PLEASE START STUDYING ELSE YOU WILL SCREW UP EVERYTHING!!!!!

Updates

I told you that I am not a good blogger.

I have not updated my blog for quite some time. Simply because I was too busy. Right after I settled all the reports and assignments. I had Homecoming Celebration on 5th Sept.

The event was done is a short time. But I think all the committee members really did their very best for the event - the Carnival in the morning and the Hawaiian Style Garden Party in the evening.

The carnival in the morning, I would say it was not really a success as not many students came. Feel sorry and feel bad to those vendors. Spent RM 180.00 for the booth but ended up didn't make any profit from the half day carnival. I am sorry but I really had done what PR should do. On the Carnival day, me and my little temporary PR team went class by class to announce about the carnival but to0 bad that it did not really work. Maybe it was not enough.

The Garden Party in the evening, I personally think that it was a success (put aside the food issue). With all the decorations done by the Deco Dept and the clothes that all the committee members were wearing, it looked really like a Hawaiian Garden Party. With all the sun tanned and sun burnt committee, we all looked like as if we were on the beach of Hawaii. Me and Shiao Ping got really bad sun tanned. Or should I say sun burn instead? Especially ShiaoPing. She was really badly tanned. You will be surprised to see the picture below.






The best part of the Homecoming Celebration is that I got to know many very cute and funny friends. Most of them have become my kids. I am the NUNEH to them. NUNEH means MOTHER in FU ZHOU. They are all very cute. Made everyone to laugh whenever we were gathered togehter for the preparation. I will not forget the experience where we went to steal people's coconut leaves at Malim Nawar. it was so fun and so HOT too.

Oh, one more thing. It was actually jess's 22nd birthday. I was too busy until I did not send her not even a message on her birthday. Feel bad until now but think she is ok with that. I AM SORRY, jess. But we had celebrated for you in advanced mah, remember the cake and the present? hehee.

Happy Birthday to Jess.

My Long Weekend

I supposed to post this on 1st of September but I was too busy. Think I didnt finish this post but doesnt really matter now.


I had a very good weekend. a long weekend with family and him.

I just couldn't wait any longer to go back to my home sweet home when i finally finished my very last CRM report last Friday. I think I didn't do it well though. But who cares? I really don't give a damn now. I did my best, let God do the rest. (This is what I will tell myself when I screw up.)

I think I was a bit out of my mind on last Friday (after the CRM report submission). I thought I was the only one who went a bit crazy but my dear sister was the same case too. We ended up went to Ipoh in the evening of Friday. I submitted the report about 5pm and we went to Ipoh around 7pm.. Of course we asked Shiao Ping to join too since she had nothing much could do at that time.

That was the very first time me and my sis went to Ipoh together. Weird.. She has been here for more than a year and we have been to Ipoh for uncountable times but we haven't gone to Ipoh TOGETHER yet. So that was the very first time we went to Ipoh. Together. Of course, that trip was just a we-simply-don't-want-to-stay-at-Kampar-trip. Everyone had gone back to their hometown. Only three of us were still stuck at this very HAPPENING town. So, to make us feel better, we went to Ipoh to jalan-jalan and makan-makan.

The trip was nothing much to tell but the only very surprising part was that after about 10 minutes we stepped our foot into the Jusco. Our shopping queen of the day - Shiao Ping, bought TWO pairs of shoes from Nose. And the so-called poor lady spent RM 120 for the shoes. Unbelievable. Next time, if she tells you that she is broke, DON'T ever believe in her!!! I am sure that she gonna curse me when she reads this.

Me and dear ROOMMATE went back together after my Saturday class. Poor me.. got to be her driver..

For me, home is always the best place on Earth. It is a place where love and care are all around. Did some shoppings at few places with my dear baba, mama, jess, hanessa, yee and ah yang but then I ended up going back home empty handed. I didn't buy anything. Because I was too tired after the acupuncture. (My baba dragged all of us to see the Chinese Physician. The Chinese Physician has now become our family doctor.)

WE went out together on Tuesday. Hahaa. I didn't expect to see him but he said he was free and didn't see me for few days already. haha. I think that was the main thing I wanted to hear from him.

After all, I had a good weekend. With my family and him of course.

I LOVE EVRYONE OF THEM!!

Lesson of the day

You might be there when someone needed your help.

But, when you need the someone for help, the someone may not be there for you.

Think twice before you want to help anyone.

I think human beings are selfish after all.

So, depend on yourself. You yourself are the only one who you can count on.

I am not angry. I just feel sad and disappointed.

A special dedication to Mr. C

I am so pissed off by Mr. C recently... someone who I really think is a real as.s.hole, childish and whatever-bad-word-you-can-think-of-now.

(I am sorry to those who are reading this. I do not mean to be bitchy and rude here. But I just cannot let this thing fades away just like that!!!)

We, as HUMAN BEING are very special and unique. We are just so different from each other and that does not mean that we can LOOK DOWN on other people or EXPLOIT other people!!!

Dear Mr. C, I beg you will read this as this is specially dedicated to you. I am spending my American time to write this post. Now, let MAMA teach you a lesson!!!

You may be wearing all branded stuff from head to toe but you know what, that means nothing to me as you DO NOT use your brain!!! (I dare not say that you do not have a brain because scientifically, everyone owns a brain. Perhaps, did you leave out your brain when you were doing your shopping?) You may have the nicest look and the coolest clothes, but you know what, underneath those nice clothes, you are more or less look like a big pile of s.hit. What is the point if you have only the outer beauty but you do not have the inner beauty?? Outer beauty does not last long lah, brother!! And please DO NOT judge or comment on what people are wearing!! That is just so non of your business!! Why are you so busy body to comment on what others are wearing? If you have so much of free time, may I suggest you to read more so that you can be more civilized. People may not be wearing branded stuff but they have their well-functioning brain!!! So, please mind your very own business!!! By the way, I personally think that you look like a real GAY in those clothes.

How dare you to say people "kurang ajar"??? Do you know what does it mean when you say that? You are actually insulting people's parents because you say their parents do not teach their children enough. How do you define "kurang ajar"?? Can you please tell me? And who are you to say people is "kurang ajar"? When you say someone is "kurang ajar", that means you have been 'diajar dengan secukup-cukupnya"? How do you define "diajar dengan secukup-cukupnya"? One thing I would like to remind you is that if you have been "diajar dengan secukup-cukupnya", then what on earth are you doing in UTAR? If you have been "diajar dengan secukup-cukupnya", then you would not have stuck here with us!! You are here with us now, so please allow me to say that you are actually also "kurang DIajar" lor because you are still learning just like us. Kamu juga dalam proses belajar dan diajar!!!

It is not our choice whether to be rich or poor. We were not given the right to choose when we were born. Yes, you are from a wealthy family. SO WHAT? That just means that you have more money to spend compared to us. We may not as wealthy as you are but that does not mean that we do not have money to spend. We do not bother how much money you have and how much money you can spend because we know that it is non of our business!!! We really do not care about how rich you are. You may be wealthy in terms of money but you are actually a real poor guy when we talk about family and love. God is very fair to everyone of us. When you have something more (MONEY), then you may have something else less (LOVE & FAMILY). So, please do not show off with your goddamn money. We are just not interested to know!

I think you do not know the true meaning of FRIENDS. Friends are not your slaves!!! Who are you to take them for granted and exploit them? They are HUMAN BEING too!! Just like you! If you do not like people to treat you bad, so are they!! They do not like it either!! Your friends and you have the SAME rights, SAME freedom and should deserve the SAME respect. Why cant you respect others more when you want them to respect you? They have the same right to talk and give opinion just like you!! And for the goodness sake, please stop bossy-ing your friends. You are not the BOSS and please stop telling them what to do. Do not instruct them anymore. They are not your slaves after all.

For me, you are just another childish guy (should I use the word "boy" instead?) who is bullying those people around you. They do not voice out because they treat you as a friend and respect you as a friend. For your own goodness sake, please stop all the bad things that you have been doing to them. Start respecting them and treat them as your FRIENDS!!! Who are you to make them feel sad? You either learn you lesson now or wait untill you go out to the real world and meet those REAL bad guys. Please do not cry like a small boy when the time comes. I will laugh at you!!!

By the way, I will still say HI to you and GREET you if we happen to meet in campus. The world is not so big after all.


Moral of the day:
1) I can be real nice to you but I can also be a real bitch (far beyond your imagination) if I want to.

2) Do not make me angry else you will know the price to pay!!

Daily habit

I was doing a little bit of memory recall when i was having my before-sleep-shower just now. (I did not have my before-sleep-shower at this hour for a long time as this is the time where I normally get started to work my ass.)

And I started to think : Did I brush my teeth before I sleep recently??

Well, I couldn't recall much whether or not I brush my teeth before I sleep recently.

But the fact is, i DID NOT brush my teeth before I sleep recently!! my god! why? Simply because I did not really sleep at night. God knows what was I doing for the past few nights.

When we were still a primary school student, we were taught that we must brush our teeth at least TWICE a day - in the morning and at night. I used to stick to that rule until recently.



















This has in fact inspired me of something.

When we are very busy, we tend to forget or neglect things (especially those small small one) that around us.

You will not notice that your roommate is actually sick now.

You will not notice that your room is a real mess.

You forget when was the last time you did your laundry (until you see your laundry basket is bursting with all those dirty clothes).

You forget to pay all the bills (until they keep on sending you the very beautiful "Red Letter").

You may even forget when was the last time you talk to your parents on the phone.

I have been really busy recently. Busy with my CRM presentation and the report for it.

It is over now. And I don't give a shit to it anymore. At least until week 12.

Really hope that all these will end soon. Really can't take the stress anymore.

H1N1 is getting serious over here. I must start wearing mask from tomorrow onwards for my own good sake.

This is the only night where I can sleep before 12am. So I shall not bullshit a lot and go to bed now.

Suddenly, I miss him. Good night, honey.

雪中送炭

今天终于体会到“雪中送炭”的感觉。

这几天的我心情很不好，功课压力大得快要受不了了。。。 很情绪化之余，再加上强烈的想念，真的让我快要疯了！！

很想他妈的不顾一切放声大哭，可是做不到。。。哭，并不是我的强项。

今天上课时，海妹妹说我看起来很压力，就说如果她有煲汤就拿给我。

我以为她随口说说。

谁知，她在晚上八点多真的拿了汤过来。

虽然心里很不好意思，可是却觉得很温暖。

人其实可以很容易满足。就算是一点不起眼的事，你也可以很开心，很感动。

虽然只是简单的一碗汤，可是其中的心意和关心却是无价的。

简简单单的一碗汤正好平服了我烦躁的心情。

人只要要求少一点，付出多一点，那么你会快乐很多。

你的身边也许围绕着很多人，可是当中真正关心你的，会有几个呢？

海妹妹，谢谢你的爱心汤。我真的很感动！

My First Post Here

I finally start blogging. finally. most of my friends know that I don't blog. if you don't know this, then you probably not my friend. i suppose. i don't blog simply because :

I do not have the American time. my life has been busy all the while. really really busy. don't ask me why am I so busy and what I have been doing. sometimes I also wonder why on earth I am this busy. when people are very busy, too busy and over busy, they tend to forget why are they so busy. i think i am this kind of person.

The reason for me to have this blog was very crappy. Shiao Ping posted a post. somewhere last week i think. after reading her post, I felt like leaving her a comment. really had the strong feeling to comment something about it. unfortunately, I couldn't leave her a message for I-dont-know-why. so I decided to create an account just for the sake of leaving her that stupid comment. and the best part was, she deleted the post after I finally successfully left her the comment. so there gone my comment too. wasted my effort, time, and energy. if I knew that she would delete the post, then I wouldn't have wasted so much time.

Someone asked me, why is there no any post from you yet? well, have you heard about "The Emperor's New Clothes"? if you did, then let me introduce to you - Rachel Wong's New Blog. the same theory applies here. if you have forgotten about the story, then try to Google it out. it may help you to recall a little bit about your childhood too. i suppose.

Had lunch with Shiao Ping this afternoon. she asked me, are you missing him very much? i was shocked when she asked that question. then she said I have been mentioning about him since the last few days. yes, i do miss him very much. then i realized one thing, when you really miss someone, you tend to mention and talk about him/her very often. all the day. all the time. that makes me cant wait any longer to see him.

Finally, something for my blog.

Dear blog,
I hope that I will have the American time to update you regularly. hope that you will not be abandoned by me too soon.